Your dreams are too big

I wonder if the optimist in me has a warped view of the dreams or if those around me do.  Yes I dream big. No I don’t chase money or fame or things that those around me seem to hold dear, but I chase monster dreams. I lived life without dreams for a long time and I wasn't happy. I was existing and not really living and for me, that's no way to really live. 

I can rarely accomplish a lot of my dreams. I have yet to accomplish 101 goals in 1001 days, but I did accomplish a lot more than if I didn't make the list. It isn't the actual 101 things on the list that motivates me; it’s to challenge of trying to get them all done. Not just done, but to the best of my ability. Doing a half ass job at anything you do isn't chasing something it’s just getting by.


I am by no means a prime example of success because half the things I dream of take three or four tries to conquer. I set out to write one half decent book. Three tries and two years later I wrote two books that sucked and one decent book. That was my goal. Not to write a best seller, not to make a lot of money or even get famous, but to write one good book. Now I learned a lot about writing over that two-year period and originally my dream was to throw that book on a shelf and never worry about books again because my dream was one book. The optimistic side of me who loves the challenge of writing kicked in and said “I can write a better book” so I did. Now maybe it is human nature to think I want more. To dream more, to do more and to look back and think I did so many things with my life. Maybe it’s just a shy fat kid from a small town in Ontario Canada thinking that his legacy to those who come after him will be dream big and try harder. I really don't understand what makes me chase dreams only that the process makes my life just a little more interesting.





Now some dreams I am still struggling to conquer and move on. These are those ones that keep popping up on my lists again and again because they are strong and come with great fear for me. Learning to swim for example, because I have a fear of water. Well a fear of drowning to be more accurate. What can I say, I would miss me and all those things that I haven't done yet. Is it irrational yes, but sooner or later I will learn to swim. Maybe in a kiddy pool or the shallow end but it will eventually happen. 

Some dreams happen but not the way I imagined. I thought touching a snake would help me overcome my fear of snakes so a few years ago I went to the reptile zoo and touched a white python. Nope it didn't help my fear of snakes, but I still did it.

There are dreams that I will never accomplish no matter how many times or how hard I try. It's just how the world works, but I will keep trying. I would rather spend my life running towards an impossible dream then running away. The challenge of it is what makes my life interesting not the end result. Well for me at least.

I have a dream of one million followers on Facebook. It seems impossible today with my 643 followers and it really isn’t going to change my life because I won’t have a million friends, but it’s on my list and I strive for it. Not every dream will happen, but the effort makes it a challenge to chase. 

I don't let failure dictate whether I found success, only the effort. I can tell you more things that don't work then do for every dream I have ever chased. For a while I couldn't give away my books for free. Yes my books sat there and nobody wanted to read them for free. I was still chasing my dream of writing one good book so I read the reviews and thought about what people said. I mean the good and the bad and thought damn they are right and took what I learned and wrote more.

Now my dreams and goals change over time as I change. Maybe its priorities or maybe it’s just the allure vanishes but I never give up. There are people around me who have small dreams and those with giant impossible dreams who let the fear of failure cripple them. My biggest challenge in life isn’t dreaming big, but finding the time to fit everything I want to do into the limited time I have on earth. Sometimes I think I will need to live to be 200 years old to fit everything in.

I hear the words your dreams are too big a lot. I don’t believe dreams are ever too big, but some dreams are impossible, but I never say they cannot be done. I would rather cheer from the side lines and be amazed by the effort then make the dreams of others seem even more impossible by adding more doubt.

Here are three people who I find inspiring. Each chased giant dreams and those dreams lived well beyond them.

Ludwig van Beethoven https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ludwig_van_Beethoven

Helen Keller https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helen_Keller

Terry Fox https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terry_Fox

Smile

JD

Secret Lives

Like a lot of my blogs a new idea was born. We were talking about personal motivation and what drives people to do things. The conversation came to my secret life. Yes I have one, but it’s mysterious or exciting it’s just me living my life. Every year I try and become a better version of who I am, but it’s for me. Something’s the world around me can see, but most things are just for me. It’s my secret life so to speak.
I could have easily just kept dwelling on the things I didn’t do in life, let those I can’t do become stronger then me and become mountains that fear didn’t let me overcome. I would like to say that I am a self-made man, but there are very few truly self-made men out there. In life I have a whole army of people I have met through the years that motivated me and provided the encouragement to become a better me.
I was in my late twenties when I started college. Yes it was a major accomplishment for me. No it wasn’t the diploma they gave me at the end and certainly not high marks, but the fact I completed the course while working and during a bus strike here in Ottawa. During this time over half my school mates quit. They were smarter then I was, but all I had was determination. Well that and the fact I paid a lot of money for my course and I wasn’t wasting it. That winter I had to walk to work early in the morning them walk to school and walk home. No it wasn’t easy, but I couldn’t justify taking out a loan for school and not finishing it. I honestly didn’t expect to pass the course because I was a programming course and I didn’t even have a computer. All I had was a cheap used type writer that I could save text documents on a floppy disk then I would go to school and try and compile it. Yes it was hard, but I didn’t see any choice.
I struggled, to complete the course and to get my first job and I kept struggling to get the job after that too. I didn’t tell the world I was doing it because I was a younger version of me who still feared failure then. It was my first secret life. I am respected in my field, have numerous certifications now and experience, but few people outside my professional life know about it. The reason is that I did it for me and if people ask I tell them, but it’s not something I brag about.
My latest challenge is books. Yes I wanted to write one good book. First try sucked, but I finished it and thought that I could do it better. The next book had its flaws, but was better so I tried again. Now my “Immortal Obsession Series” is something I am proud of. You won’t see my name or picture plastered all over the place because I do it for me. Not for fame or fortune, but for me. A dream is only worth having if you put actions behind it. No I am not Stephen King yet, but I wrote two really great books. I set out to write something I was proud of. The kind of book I enjoy reading and that brings others joy others. I did that. That’s another part of my secret life.
Now a few people that used to read my blogs or maybe they still do who seem to be trapped in the past this is for you? Some seem to live with ghosts of failures real and imagined. Whether it be a job you hate or see no future in, the education that they wished they had, love they lost and because of pride let it slip away or anything else that is holding them back. Yesterday is gone, today you can change anything and tomorrow has not come yet. Courage isn’t never failing its trying what seems impossible just because there might be a possibility.
For every success I have had there are nine failures. Anything is possible in life as long as you try to chase it. Some secrets we never share, others we share, but from a hidden view like a pen name or anonymous blog, but life is meant to be lived and enjoyed. Success like beauty is a personal victory. Everybody sees it in a different way, but if you don’t try you will never see your true success.
Smile
JD